Archive for July 2, 2012

Pagan Humor LXXIV

You May Be a Yuppie Pagan If… (4)

  1. If “In the cool of the evening, we used to gather…” makes you think of getting in a late 18 holes.
  2. Your ritual tools are itemized on your homeowners insurance.
  3. Your car payment is more than your priestess’ monthly take home pay.
  4. You wear paste replicas of your ritual jewelry to rituals.
  5. After casting the circle you feel compelled to click that alarm thing on your keychain.
  6. You have a tattoo designed by Nybor and paid for the rights to the design.
  7. You have both the Jerry Garcia and Tim Leary hand painted collector’s edition plates on your altar.
  8. The square footage of your ritual circle is a status thing.
  9. Great carpeting is next to godliness.
  10. It just doesn’t seem right to call upon the spirits of water without a twist of lime.
  11. Your covenstead has gone condo.
  12. You seldom are asked to call North since everyone knows you just don’t do dirt.
  13. You have to hurry the Yule ritual along, the plane for Aspen leaves in an hour.