Archive for May, 2012

Gone With The Wind 9

News arrives that Scarlett’s father has died and she heads to Tara with a heavy heart. Upon arriving at Tara Will Benteen tells Scarlett that her sister Suellen, tried to trick Gerald into taking the oath of loyalty to the Union. This is because men who swear loyalty to the Union receive compensation for property lost during the war. Apparently Suellen got her father drunk and got him to agree to sign anything. But he realized what was about to happen and ripped up the oath. Then got on his horse and rode away. His horse threw him when he tried to jump a fence and killed him. Finally Will shocks Scarlett by telling her that he plans to marry Suellen so that he can stay at Tara forever.


After her fathers funeral Scarlett offers Ashley a half-interest in her mill, so he will not move to New York. He refuses at first but when his wife (Melanie) hears the offer she convinces him to move to Atlanta and not the hostile North. However, it seems he’s not very good at his managing of the company and Scarlett hires convicts as labour at the mill. An Irishman (Johnnie) is much better at managing the workers then Ashley.

It is later discovered that Johnie isstarving and whipping the convict workers. Remembering that he has doubled the mill’s productivity, Scarlett let’s this continue rather then allow Johnnie to quit. Later that same night Scarlett is attacted by a white man and his “black” capaingen. Frank and Ashley avenge her, because it turns out they are KKK members. Rhett arrives at Melanie’s house (where Frank dropped Scarlet while he and Ashley went to a “political meeting”) and asks Melanie where Ashley and Frank have gone, saying that it is a matter of life and death. Melanie tells him and Rhett goes after them.

A Yankee regiment bursts in and demands to know where Rhett, Ashley & Frank are. Finally the men show up and appear to be very drunk. Rhett tells the Yankees that the men were at Belle Watling’s house all night. Thankfully the Yankee Captain is a friend of Rhett’s, so he leaves them alone.

At this point Rhett sends Archie (an other KKK member) to burn their Klan robes and dispose of two unspecified bodies (the two men who attacked Scarlett?). It is now evident that the men are not drunk but only acting. Ashley is wounded, and in her concern for Ashley, Scarlett doesn’t notice Frank’s absence. Rhett finally informs her that Frank has been shot in the head.

The next day, Belle, Ashley, and Rhett are to testify about the events, but their convincing alibi clears them of all charges.


Adult LFMF

The following Learn From My Fails are ADULT IN NATURE. Viewer discretion is advised, only read the following text if you are over the age of maturity in your State/Province.

  • If your throat is dry, do not walk into a room that happens to be full of men and ask if anyone has anything you can suck on. You should also not try to back peddle out of it with, “I meant something hard.” #LFMF
  • Good Idea: Having a drink at the end of a productive and busy day—Bad Idea: Opening the second drink when your tummy feels a little off—Really Bad Idea: Finishing the second drink when you have been up and down all night going to the loo Horrid Idea: going to bed and trusting that its just going to be a little fart.—Worst Idea Ever: sleeping naked Worlds worst part: Your (now ex) boyfriend sleeping over #LFMF
  • When googling ‘Why does the tip of my penis burns after masturbating’ make sure the tab you opened is Google and NOT Facebook. You may accidentally post it on your wall. #LFMF
  • Whistling the song you have in your head isn’t a big deal. Whistling ”I just had sex” by Lonely Island as you exit the sauna is akward, especially in a all-male sauna. #LFMF
  • If you decide it’s a good idea to hook up with someone on a party bus while the other 30 people are in a bar, make sure the lights are off in the bus or the bartender WILL call everyone over to watch you from the bar. This goes double if you’re a straight dude and said hook-up buddy is also a dude. #LFMF
  • Bad Idea- Going camping for 3 days while on your period.—Really bad Idea- Bringing only one pair of pajama pants.—Terrible idea- Bringing only one pair of WHITE pajama pants.
  • When trying to seduce your GF while showering Do Not put tooth paste on your lower brain and ask her if she wants to brush her teeth. The tooth paste will burn, you will start shrieking like a little girl. She will laugh and proceed tell everyone you know and you will never live it down.
  • The reason your mom keeps borrowing your phone: you downloaded the sex-position-of-the-day-app. Don’t ask her why. Not if you value your sanity. Or ever want to eat at the table again. #LFMF
  • When things start getting frisky with your gf/wife, remeber that you were making salsa earlier in the day. Pepper juice does not wash off. Using your hands to “warm things up” will not have the desired effect. She will cry. You will get nothing.
  • When your parents come over to babysit, make sure you don’t leave the lube you just bought on the kitchen table. You may come home to find that it has now been open, there is some missing, and you wont be able to look your parents in the eyes again. #LFMF
  • When at a party, don’t sneak into the baby (who isn’t there)’s room to have sex with your girlfriend. The baby monitor will be on, and EVERYBODY downstairs will hear the weird noises you make. #LFMF
  • If you’re greeting your (lesbian) roommate that just came back from a date, do NOT ask her if they “ate out”. #LFMF
  • Good friend action #1: Taking your virgin/desperate friend to the strip club across the state line Good Friend action #2: Telling the girls working there that it’s his birthday.—Not very smart action: Sneaking him in because he’s in actually 17 and thinking he can control his bodily functions. An awkward hour-long drive home with him hopelessly embarrassed with the stench of semen filling the truck cab will ensue.

Life Is A Bank Account

A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o’clock, with his hair fashionably combed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today.

His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.  As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window.

“I love it!”  he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.

“Mr. Jones, you haven’t seen the room; just wait.”

“That doesn’t have anything to do with it.” he replied. “Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn’t depend on how the furniture is arranged .. it’s how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. It’s a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I’ll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I’ve stored away. Just for this time in my life. Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you’ve put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories! Thank you for your part in filling my Memory Bank. I am still depositing.”

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred.

2. Free your mind from worries.

3. Live simply.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less.

Have a nice day, unless you already have other plans.

Canadian Girls

My fav. comment on this video:
every Canadian has their way of living, and that way of living is a lot better than the fake Americans! Yes, we are irresistible, lovable, and yes we do cause trouble.. But this way of living is a lot better than some people! Those people who didn’t like this video are more than likely Americans! so, Canadians aint gonna care, we stick to ourselves…Canadians are just as good as Americans.. So shut up if you think differently, that Americans are better because they’re not! I LOVE CANADIANS ❤

Gone With The Wind 8

Rhett has blackmailed his way out of jail, and visits Scarlett’s store to congratulate Scarlett on her marriage. He agrees to loan money to buy a sawmill (Frank’s idea that he never saw through). Scarlett has quickly become a rather ruthless businesswoman, turning a profit by any means necessary. Frank hopes that a baby will take Scarlett’s mind off business and lessen the embaressment he feels thanks to all the gossip surround Scarlett’s being a businesswoman.


Ashley and Tony Fontaine killed Jonas Wilkerson and a black man. Tony arrives in Atlanta and explains that Wilkerson was telling freed slaves they have the right to sexually assult white women. When a former slave made a lewd comment to Tony’s sister-in-law Tony and Ashley went on a revenge mission. Ashley sends Tony to seek help from Scarlett and Frank. Scarlett doesn’t help him out of fear of the former yankees.

Scarlett becomes pregnant. However, the birth of her child does not change her business practices and she even begins doing business with Yankees.

Gone With The Wind 7

Scarlette decides to go to Atlanta and marry Rhett out of desperation (and embaresment at being poor). She needs $300 for land tax payment. Rhett figures out her true reason for being there when he notices the calluses on her hands. Since he is in jail (for killing a “black” man who insulted a white woman) he can’t write her a draft (money order) because it would be traced and the rest of his money confiscated by the Yankees.


Scarlett has found a new solution to her problem. Frank Kennedy (who is engagement to Suellen) is now well-to-do. He owns a store and is about to invest in a sawmill (big money to be made in that with all the rebuilding going on post-war). Scarlett figures she can marry Frank in order to pay the taxes on Tara. She tells Frank that Suellen is going to marry an other man.

It works. So Scarlett and Frank are married two weeks later. However Scarlett manipulates Frank into making the decisions she feels are best for the Store. Frank ends up so sick he can’t leave the house and Scarlett uses the oportunity to snope through the business papers. She discovers that Frank has louned money to friends and is now to embarassed to collect the rather large sums now owed him.

Joey Lawrence…

Why have i been having thoughts of Joey Lawrence running through my head for the last 24 hours?!?

No seriously, every once-in-awhile I get this image of him from years ago when he was on “Blossom” and it’s driving me up the wall. Usually when I start having random thoughts about people for no reason, it means something big is coming for them in the next few days. So I’ll have to keep my eyes open and see what is going on with him, just to see if anything happens.

Gone With The Wind 6

In Chapter eighteen we see the devistation that is war. We hear news that Ashley’s father has died, a shell fell on him and his horse. Chapter twenty brings news that Scarlett’s mother and both sisters have typhoid fever.


Finally in Chapter twenty-two Melanie gives birth to a boy. Scarlett and the other women escape Atlanta but Rhett’s wagan and horse are stolen and after getting an other horse and wagon he leaves the women to fend for themselves. Scarlette manages to make it to her family’s plantation to find that her mother died from the fever the day before and her sisters are still ill with it. Her father has lost his mind with greif at the loss of his wife.

Meanwhile the servents wont do any work because they “is house workers”. I think that between whiney Prissy and the house workers refusing to work (not to mention the laziness of her sisters), if I was Scarlett someone would have got their asses kicked (verbally). I can not stand people who do not pull their own weight. If you are able bodied and work needs doing, you do it. You don’t whine about it, you just do it!


Finally news arrives that the war is over, Ashley is alive and walking home from Illinoise. Scarlett is still obsessed with Ashley. She even begs him to run away with her at one point when he says he can’t face the reality of the situation (the South in ruin after the war, etc.) He refuses her and she vows to never through herself at him again. (Yeah right, that will last a few pages at most, lol). I feel scarlet hasn’t really changed she just now gives free reign to the tendencies once considered shamefully unladylike.

Post Secret LXXXIX

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I told my mom that I had depression and it was the worst
decision I’ve ever made. I can’t wait to be the mother that mine
never was.

—Email to email—
Me too!

I thank my mother, the preacher, for buying me a vibrator when
I was 15 and there by destigmatizing exploration of my

Happy Mother’s Day

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