Archive for February, 2012

From My Mom-in-Law

 

Went to the doctor for my yearly physical.

 

The nurse starts with certain basics.

 

How much do you weigh?’ she asks. I reply,”135.”
The nurse puts me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 180.

 

The nurse asks, ‘Your height?’ I say, “ 5 foot 4”.
The nurse checks and sees that I only measure 5’2″.

 

She then takes my blood pressure and tells me it is very high.
“Of course it’s high!” I scream, “When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I’m short and fat!”

 

She put me on Prozac.

 

What a bitch.


 

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9 Foreign Words the English Language Needs

A very good point about homophobia

Free Spell Day 2

Free Spell Day! In honor of the Spring Equinox I will be offering one (1) free spell to anyone who registers before March 20, 2011. You can register by commenting on this post. [NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. This is a gift from me to anyone who asked for it via my site.]

Pagan Humor LX

You Might be Giving Pagans a Bad Name If…

  • You insist that your boss call you “Forest Starchild” because otherwise you’d sue for religious harassment. (Score double for this if you don’t let them call you “Mr. or Ms. Starchild.”)
  • You request Samhain, Beltaine, and Yule off and then gripe about working Christmas.
  • You expect your employer to exempt you from the random drug testing because of your religion.
  • You think the number of Wiccan books you own is far more important than the number you have read, regardless of the fact that most of your books are for beginners.
  • Someone has had to point out to you that you do not enter a circle “in perfect love and perfect lust.” (Score double if you argued you were right.)
  • You claim to be a famtrad (hereditary), but you’re not. (Score double if you had to tell people you were adopted to pull this off.)
  • You claim to be a descendant of one of the original Salem Witches. (Score to a lethal degree if you don’t get this one.)
  • You think it’s perfectly reasonable to insist that, since every tradition is different, and no one tradition is right, there’s no reason not to do things your way.
  • You talk to your invisible guardians in public. (Score double if you have met the Vampire Lestat or Dracula, triple if you got into a fight with him and escaped.)
  • You’ve ever confused the Prime Directive with the Wiccan Rede.
  • You’ve ever tried something you saw on “Sabrina, The Teenage Witch”
  • You hang out with people who each match at least fifteen of these traits.
  • You recognize many of these traits in yourself, but this test isn’t about you. But, boy, it’s right about those other folks.

Post Secret LXXIX

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First eMailed Post

OMG! My husband wanted to go to my sister’s house tonight to hangout with the brother-in-law. So we called to confirm that they would be home and that is was okay to come down (they have a 6 week old baby so we wanted to make sure no one was sick and etc.) Well we call and the baby sitter answers… L.R. had to take her kitten to the vet.

At 2 am last night (Feb. 25th 2012) she went to pet the kitten and thought he had cut his lip. Nope… He had torn his lip… off his jaw bone! Seriously, his lip was hanging down past his jaw bone with said bone exposed to the world. Well none of the vets in our area (area meaning with in a 200 km radius) were open for emergencies so she had to wait until this afternoon to take him in to a vet. While caring for “Timmy” and waiting for a vet to open for the day, my sister looked all through the house trying to find where Timmy had gotten hurt. She couldn’t find anything.

Well when they got to the vet, she took one look and said “Oh! Oh my!!!” Shock is not something you want to hear from the person who is suppose to be able to fix this situation. The vet said she had seen similar injuries before and that it was a trauma that caused it. His face didn’t just fall off, he probably fell from a height or ran into something going full speed.

But everything went good. While the kitten was under anesthetic they also did a little something to the other end of his body as well… He’s doing good. His face is a little swollen and he needs to be medicated for a week or so (antibiotics and pain meds) but things should be relatively normal after that. He may have a slightly pouty bottom lip from now on but who wouldn’t want a kiss me pout like Ms. Jolie. So best of luck to little Timmy.

It happened to someone else’s kitty too (and he looks just like Timmy!)

LOL

There is some adult language in this video so be forewarned.

Quote I Love

“Every time I decide I want a child I get another pet. I have 3 dogs, 13 birds and 3 horses, what does that tell you?”- Alyssa Milano

I myself have 6 cats, 1 BIG dog and a host of critters I watch out for in my backyard. Do I want kids? Yes. But don’t tell my husband that, he’s still a child himself when it comes to that topic.

Sorry to go off topic but this is post number 333! How cool is that!

Could you be on the road to an Eatting Disorder? UPDATE

Original Post: HERE

I’ve been doing so well lately concerning my E.D. and thought what the heck, I’ll redo the check list. So once again I’ve highlighted the ones I’m suffering from currently. Last time I did the check list I had 14/25.

  1. Eating (or restricting) food provides immediate relief from unpleasant negative feelings.
  2. Your eating behaviors frequently make you very unhappy.
  3. You weigh (or are afraid to weigh) yourself very frequently, and become significantly distressed when you don’t see the results you hope for.
  4. You frequently avoid eating because you are afraid that you may not be able to stop once you start.
  5. You believe there are “bad” or “forbidden” foods that you shouldn’t eat, and eating them makes you feel guilty or ashamed.
  6. You very strictly count calories and track of everything you eat, and feel that going over your limit means you have failed, at least for that day.
  7. When you eat a “forbidden” food or go over your calorie limit, you often decide to continue overeating, since you have blown it.
  8. You frequently think that people are talking (or thinking) poorly about you because of your weight, even when nothing is said.
  9. You are trying to lose weight because you think it will influence how other people think or feel about you and treat you.
  10. Being at your current weight makes it very hard for you to feel good about yourself and you believe that will change when you lose the weight.
  11. The main reason you exercise is to burn calories, and/or offset the calories you have eaten or plan to eat.
  12. You feel like you have to avoid certain foods entirely because you can’t control how much you’ll eat once you start.
  13. You frequently think about food and eating, much more than necessary.
  14. You eat secretly (to avoid embarrassment if others found out about it) or keep hidden food stashes that you eat only when you’re alone.
  15. You believe that many of the problems in your life (work, relationships, etc) are due to your weight, and will improve once you reach a normal weight.
  16. You frequently eat when you aren’t hungry or feel like you can’t stop yourself, but don’t understand why.
  17. Even though your weight is considered healthy or normal, you are not satisfied, and want to keep losing.
  18. You have many rules about what, when, and how much to eat, and breaking these rules causes you to feel anxious, guilty, or negative about yourself.
  19. You tend to follow your eating and exercise plan for days or weeks at a time, but then seem to go on strike, rebelling against your own plans.
  20. The closer you get to an intermediate or long term weight goal, the more you seem to engage in self-sabotage.
  21. You sometimes use overeating, food deprivation, or excessive exercise to “punish” yourself.
  22. You spend a great deal of time and energy tracking your nutrition, and feel very uncomfortable eating food when you don’t know what’s in it.
  23. You sometimes go to extreme measures like using laxatives, diuretics, diet pills or supplements, enemas, or other measures to achieve weight loss or offset calories you’ve eaten.
  24. You find yourself doing things you know aren’t healthy or advisable (skipping meals, over-exercising, eating very few calories) in order to make up for going over your calorie limit, or to speed up your weight loss.
  25. You base your food choices primarily on calorie content, rather than nutritional concerns or personal taste.

16/25 for Me.  The more you have, the more likely you can develop an eating disorder.  Someone with healthy ideas about eating, exercising and weight loss doesn’t indulge in any of the above behavior.  Apparently. I don’t know even one woman who doesn’t have at least a couple of these “symptoms”.

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