Archive for November 28, 2011

Pagan Humor XLVIII

Mom: Honey, I’m so happy you’re Wiccan and not a Satanist.
Me: Mom, I’m atheist.
Mom: No, you’re Wiccan, you have 3 cats.

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Be nice to your children for they will choose your rest home (Phyllis Diller)

Don’t take life so seriously … it’s not permanent.

Despite the cost of living, it’s still quite popular.

The trouble with life is, by the time you can read a girl like a book, your library card has expired (Milton Berle)

The aging process would be slowed if it had to work its way through Congress

I have everything I had 20 years ago, only now it’s all a little bit lower (Gypsy Rose Lee)

“There’s no such thing as a tough child — if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.” – W.C. Fields

“At one point we decided to fight fire with fire… Well… basically… your house burned even faster.” – Ex-Fireman

“Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons – Popular Mechanics, 1949

“I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.” – Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943