After 32 years and 4 aborted attempts, tomorrow my dream becomes a reality. As a 43 yo, I finally get braces. To know that I won’t be ashamed of my smile anymore TOTALLY MML

If you have macho guy friends visiting don’t forget you hung your girly panties in the shower to dry. Specially if you’re a closet transvestite. #LFMF

Today is my birthday and I don’t have a lot of money so I planned a quiet day off from work. My mobile went off this morning and I didn’t reach it in time. When I listened back to the voicemail it was my awesome co-workers singing Happy Birthday led by my brilliant boss! It really MMD!

No matter how old you are, NEVER pee in a wide-open space where any random neighbor can see you. Also, putting a white bucket on your head while peeing is NOT a valid disguise technique. #LFMF

I ‘m a volunteer bartender at a local theater. I don’t make any wages, but I’m allowed tips. This group of three Canadians came in and were some of the nicest people I’ve ever met. We talked, I told them about the show as I made their drinks. They paid with a card, and I noticed the girl paying stick a 10 dollar bill into the tip jar. I thanked them and they went to their seats. When they came for their second round, I made sure to do my best because they’d already tipped me better than anyone had before. This time they paid with a twenty and gave me the remaining four dollars as another tip. I had not expected another one from them, as they’d already given me so much. Finally for their third round the girl with the card paid again and gave me another 10 dollars. At a time when I don’t have much money, their unexpected generosity MMD!

If you leave the car window open, and it rains, and you have a plethora of crap in your car, you may want to clean it out THAT DAY. A week and a half later, the will be mold and maggots and you will be traumatized. #LFMF

10 years ago I went to France as part of a school trip and got my little brother Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone in French. He just got back from France himself and he got me The Chamber of Secrets, in French. IMMD!

When your husband gets out of the shower and starts to do a little dance get out of the way because he will trip over a table and you will end up with a penis in your eye. #LFMF

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