Telling your friends you had BWW for lunch is normal. Telling them you had BBW will raise more questions than answers. #LFMF

I was baby-sitting my neighbor’s puppy today and the poor pup just couldn’t get the hang of our doggie door. Despite coaxing and food bribes, she was still sitting outside in frozen disbelief. I jokingly said to my dog, “Daisy, go show her how to do it.”. Daisy looked at me, looked at the sad puppy outside, got up, hopped through the doggie door, licked the puppy’s face and hopped back through the door with the puppy right behind her. I couldn’t believe it! IMMD!

When your husband has a 2 hr commute home from work, don’t greet him at the door in a sexy negligee. He will have to pee quite badly, and now you’ve only made it very difficult. #LFMF

I have diabetes and 2 years ago I inherited my mom’s cat, Coco, when she died. A few weeks ago, Coco woke me up in the middle of the night yowling VERY pathetically. When I awoke, he started pushing my blood glucose meter around on my bedside table. I figured he wanted me to test, so I did. My level was down to 54. Normal, according to my doctor, is between 70 and 120. My doctor told me that had Coco not awakened me, I may never have awakened at all! Having my cat save my life MMD

Remember when doing last night’s dishes in the early morning that just because you happen to be standing nude with the sound of running water around you does not mean you are in the shower; you should not pee right now. #LFMF

Today while driving home, after a rather crummy day, I saw two people standing on the median of a busy road holding a sign. After a rather harsh layoff period in this state, there have been a lot of homeless people on this median. Being barely able to make my own rent, I prepared myself to feel worse. Instead, one of the girls met my eyes, raised the sign, and held up the other girl’s hand. What did it say? “Honk for love”. IMMD, and week!

My friend’s name is Mary-Jane Watson. Her parents didn’t KNOW. #LFTheirF

Tonight, at the cafe where I work, a guy came up and started his order with “Your mission, should you chose to accept…” He then proceeded to order smoothie and swore me to secrecy (he’s not supposed to have them). Getting a change from the usual phrases MMD!!!

Correct: My dad drinks Heineken beer, and when I drink it I’m reminded of him. Incorrect: Heineken tastes like my dad. #LFMF

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