If your husband hs recently deployed, especially if it’s his first time and you have 2 young children, Cast Away is not the movie to watch. You will all cry when Wilson gets lost.

I came home from spending the night at my friends house to find (what I thought were sold out) concert tickets on my bed. They were from my older brother, who lives in another town. When I called him and asked why he did it, his reply was ‘because you’re my little sister, and know how much it means to you. Have fun, Love you’. Hearing my usually “manly” brother say these words MMD!!

If you’re masturbating while smelling you’re best friends sister’s panties, make sure you don’t get caught. Especially if she’s still wearing them. The rest of her funeral will be extremely awkward. #LFMF

A couple days ago, I got cut off and laid my motorcycle down, skidding out about 50 feet. Walking away from it with nothing more than some abrasions and having the bike repairable MMD, but my son seeing me later and calling me Ironman MML! (Made My Life!)

DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT wear a T-shirt of the province of Quebec in Ontario. People will call you a frog. #LFMF

Yesterday was my ten year high school reunion. I have since enlisted, gone to OCS, and am now a First Lieutenant. My high school bullies however, are still flipping burgers. IMMD(ecade)

DO NOT go and see the last Harry Potter movie while about to start your period. Your hormones will reduce you to a hysterical emotional wreck and however sad you think it will be, it’ll be a million times worse. #LFMF

Today my 1 year old niece blew her first ever kiss. To me. IMMD

When at Carl’s Jr with your nearly potty trained kid, make sure it’s YOUR blond, red-shirted little boy whose pants you are inspecting. Cuz if it’s not… #LFMF

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