Archive for July, 2011

Post Secret XXIII

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—–Email—–
My father took me to see every Harry Potter in theaters. He passed away in April from cancer. I am going to see the last one on his birthday.
For More See: http://www.postsecret.com/

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Weight Watchers Points Diet

Wow, I can’t believe that it’s been almost a year since my sister convinced me to join in the Weight Watcher’s Points Diet. What follows in the diary entries I made regarding this “life plan” and as you can see I ran out of streght and my memory was effected to the point that I forgot to even post the enteries… Seriously, hated this “food plan”.

Day 1: Starving. I’ve eatten less then Dr. Harvey wants me to and I’ve maxed out my points for today. It’s only lunch. (I managed to starve myself the rest of the day eating only “Rabbit Poop Soup” and only went over 5 points).

Day 2: I’ve promised to try at least a month on this diet…but I can’t live on the very small amount of food allowed by my point margin. 1 bowl of my doctor recommended cereal is 8 pts!!! My lunches are 8+ pts. So I really can’t have very much to eat a day.

Day 3: Woke up so full of gas I could barely move. My stomach was desended and had feeling of beach ball (actually felt like beach ball under my clothing). “Rabbit Poop Soup” is making me very gassey and the amount of water in it (coupled with the amount I have to drink to be able to stomach the pepper) is making me have to get up 3+ times during night to visit the Loo. Not to mention that the amount of cabbage in the soup doesn’t account for the amount of gas it is causeing.

Day 4: Had cereal for breakfast (10 pts!!! How the hell is wheat cereal 10 pts!!??) So hungery and tired from lack of food. This diet is killing me. Sorry it’s not a diet its a “life plan”. Regardless if I stay on it I will die. Hmmm, maybe I should call it my death plan. 😉

Day 7: So weak and tired. It sucks that PMS and this diet both started on the same day. It is definatly playing a role in my weakness but still this diet sucks.

Day 15: After two weeks of following this “death plan”/eating plan, my hair has began falling out, my nails and teeth are horrible, my eye sight has gotten worse and my energy level has become almost non-existent. Oh and my memory is failing.  Can’t wait to see how I feel at the end of the month.

Day 30: I managed to stay on the “points plan” the full month, didn’t cheat, didn’t loose any weight just got very ill due to malnutrition. Dr. Harvey says that my B12 levels are low (I’m on injections to help with a pre-existing condition and even with the med. my levels are low) thanks to this stupid weight watchers BS. Oh and I’ve gained 15 pounds!!! That’s right, I actually had to eat so little to stay within my points for the day, week and month, that my body went into starvation mode and I ended up gaining weight. I have tried to stick with it, I’ve tried to loose weight with “proper” diet and exercise but this starvation plan of eating did not work and I’m going back to eating when I’m hungry, eating what I want to satisfy my hunger and cravings (there’s a reason that our bodies have cravings and they need to be satisfied for proper nutrition) and counting calories. Hopefully I can loose the weight that weight watchers caused me to gain…

IMMD & LFMF XXXVII

  • When you get in trouble for writing “gay rights” across your face, and the office makes you call your mother and come to hold a parent/teacher/student conference, when your mother walks into the office with “gay rights” written across HER face, the office lady’s expression is priceless. IMMD
  • You CAN clean sun glasses with Windex, but take them off first or you will scream like the CSI: Miami intro. #LFMF
  • As I walked out of the subway I saw a guy standing on top of one of the vents, showing his friend how his waist-length hair stands completely vertical with the breeze from the underground train. IMMD!
  • When you start taking a new medication and you find it’s getting more and more difficult to breathe, don’t assume it’s something else and continue taking said medication. You may have been having an allergic reaction to it. #LFMF
  • Today, after finishing a physics lab report at school, I was walking to my car when a cute girl yelled “Dude! Your facial hair rocks my world!” I responded “Thanks!” She replied “Can I touch it?” The ends of my mustache have now been “twiddled.” IMMD.
  • That noise in the pantry…it wasn’t your little brother wearing a monster mask. It was your OLDER brother and his boyfriend. Think before you throw open the doors and yell “I found you!” you cannot unsee things. especially this. #LFMF
  • German mail-order company “Otto” had a “model contest” going on on their facebook page. Suprisingly, the winner was “Brigitte”, a guy dressed up in cheesy women’s clothes and a blonde wig. The company took it with humour, they invited him to the promised photo shoot. Today they published the first image of “Brigitte” as Mrs. Santa bringing christmas gifts, including the blonde wig. IMMD!
  • Bad: Cutting yourself shaving.
    Worse: On the elbow.
    Worst: You’re a girl.
    Sheer hell: Trying to explain this to your mother. #LFMF
  • While driving in upstate New York, I hit a patch of ice, spun out, and got stuck in a snowbank. Two Good Samaritans helped tow my car out and waited with me until the police came, but drove off before I could get their names! So, Young Bearded Guy In White Pickup Truck, and Elderly Man With Hat In Black SUV, thank you, from the Canadian driver you rescued! Your generosity to a complete stranger MMD
  • Try to remember when you hang your wetsuit up in the shower to dry. It’s embarrassing when you freak out because there is a stranger standing in your shower #LFMF

Post Secret XXII

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For More See: http://www.postsecret.com/

Pagan Humor XXXVIII

A letter from a 3rd grade teacher sent home to pagan parents:

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Thomas,

I write this letter in concern of your daughter, Aradia Moon. Please don’t take this the wrong way, however, although she is a straight A student and a very bright child, she has some strange habits that I feel we should address.

Every morning before class, she insists on walking around the classroom with her pencil held in the air. She says she is “drawing down the moon.” I told her Art Class is in an hour and to please refrain until then to do any drawing.

And speaking of Art Class, whenever she draws a night sky, she insists on drawing little circles around all the stars and people dancing on the ground. And that brings up dancing, I had to stop her twice for taking off her clothes during a game of Ring Around the Rosey! By the way, what does the term “skyclad” mean?

Aradia has no problem with making friends. I always find her sitting outside during recess with her friends sitting around her in a circle. She likes to share her juice and cookies. It is nice how she wants no one to ever thirst or hunger. However, when I walked over to see what they were doing, she jumped up and told me to stop, pulled out a little plastic knife and started waving it in front of me. I thought this was a bit dangerous, so I took her to the Principal’s Office. She explained to the Principal that she was “opening the Circle” to let me in. She also said that her Mommy and Daddy always told her not to play or run with an “athame” in her hand, that she could put someone’s eye out. I don’t know what an “athame” is, but I am glad that she keeps it at home.

As for stories, your daughter tends to make up some whoppers. Just yesterday while I was talking sternly to Tommy Johnson and shaking my finger at him, he started screaming and ran from the room. When I finally caught him, he told me that Aradia told him and the rest of the class that the last time I shook my finger at someone, they caught the chicken pox. I explained to him that the Sally Jones incident was just a coincidence, and that things like that don’t really happen.

One of the strangest things that happened was when I asked the children to bring in Halloween decorations for the classroom. Aradia brought in salt, incense and her family album. I see she has quite a sense of humor.

One of Aradia’s worst habits is that she is very argumentative. We were discussing what the Golden Rule was (Do Unto others as you would have them Do Unto You), she firmly disagreed with me and stated it was “Do As you Will, but Harm None” and she will not stop saying “So Mote It Be” after she reads aloud in class. I try correct her on these matters and she got very angry. She pointed her finger at me and mumbled something under her breath.

In closing, Mr. and Mrs. Thomas, I would like to set up a parent/teacher conference with you sometime next week to discuss these matters. I would like to see you sooner, but I have developed an irritating rash that I am quite worried about.

With Deep Concerns, Mrs. Livingston

P.S. Blessed Be. I understand that this is a greeting or closing from your country that your daughter informs me is polite and correct.

Post Secret XXI

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—-Email—–
There have been many times that I haven’t called the Hopeline because I’m afraid I’m not “suicidal enough.”
—–Email—–

My geometry teacher at Central High School in Pueblo, Colorado is the reason I’m alive today. The reason I burnt my suicide note. He changed my life and never knew it.

When I went back to thank him, and apologize for my behavior in his class, they told me he moved away. I wish I could find him now and tell him how much he’s changed my life. I hope he sees this. That man needs to know that he’s a hero. His name is Cole McGee.
For More See: http://www.postsecret.com/

2 Photos 30 Years Apart

Thirty years ago, the first space shuttle launched into the stratosphere. Chris Bray and his father Kenneth watched — and took a picture. Then last Friday, the shuttle Atlantis took its final trip. Again, the Bray men were there. And again, the two snapped a phototo capture the moment.

The side-by-side photos, which are up on Chris Bray’s Flickr photostream, immediately went viral on the Web.

The first shot shows 13-year-old Chris with then 39-year-old dad looking through binoculars at the space shuttle Columbia’s first launch on April 12, 1981, from the Kennedy Space Center.

The second snap comes three decades later and recreates the same moment at the last shuttle voyage. The young son is now an adult. His father is now gray-haired.

Chris Bray wrote on his Flickr page of the side-by-side images: “The picture we waited 30 years to complete.”

The younger Bray told the Washington Post, “We’ve always loved that first photo. Taking a similar one for the last launch seemed like the perfect opportunity to celebrate the shuttle program and our relationship by putting the time passed in perspective, celebrating the interests we share, and illustrating the father/son bond we’ve maintained over the years.”

The Brays’ photo touched a chord of nostalgia in many rocket enthusiasts, and the pic has been viewed on Flickr an astronomical 510,000 times.

Comments on the pictures commend the melding of the personal with the historical. Says one: “Epic. To be able to share in something so wonderful with your dad, both beginning and end. I am jealous — both that you watched not only the first but also the last mission — but also that you did it with your father.”

Another fan of the photo who used to work on the space program wrote in, “Everyone I used to work [with in the shuttle program] thinks it’s so cool, [they] get chills.”

Chris Bray responded in an email that he was overwhelmed by the response: “I was surprised.  The picture had a lot of significance for me and my father, but we didn’t expect that the photo would touch so many other people.” He added,  ” The moment has stayed with me since that day, and is one of my fondest memories and childhood experiences.”

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/blogs/dailybrew/two-photos–thirty-years-apart–move-the-web.html

Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

Pasta strainers are now considered suitable religious headgear in Austria … at least as far as the transport authorities are concerned.

Three years after applying for a new driver’s licence, an Austrian man has finally received the laminated card. And the picture shows him sporting an upturned pasta strainer on his head.

Nothing to worry about: the authorities ruled the kitchen utensil was a suitable religious accessory for a Pastafarian.

Niko Alm, an entrepreneur, told the Austria Press Agency he had the idea when he read that headgear was allowed in official pictures only for “confessional” reasons.

The atheist says he belongs to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, a light-hearted “faith” whose members call themselves Pastafarians and whose “only dogma … is the rejection of dogma,” according to its website.

Accordingly, Alm sent his application for a new driver’s licence in 2008 along with a picture of himself with a colander on his head.

The stunt got him an invitation to the doctor’s to check he was mentally fit to drive, but after three years, Alm’s efforts have paid off.

He now wants to apply for Pastafarianism to become an officially recognised faith in Austria.

Conclusion of Casey Anthony Case

Caylee Marie Anthony (August 9, 2005 – c. June 16, 2008) was a child from Orlando, Florida, whose disappearance in June 2008 attracted prominent media attention in the United States. Caylee’s skeletal remains were discovered on December 11, 2008, almost five months after she was reported missing by her grandmother, Cindy Anthony.Her mother, Casey Anthony, failed to report her daughter missing, and was indicted on charges of first degree murder. Casey maintained that Caylee died accidentally by drowning in the family swimming pool, and asserted her innocence throughout her trial.

On July 5, 2011, Casey Anthony was found not guilty of first degree murder, aggravated manslaughter of a child, and aggravated child abuse. She was found guilty of four misdemeanor counts of providing false information to a law enforcement officer. On July 7, 2011, she was sentenced to one year in jail and $1,000 in fines for each count. With credit for time served and good behavior, her release date was set for July 17, 2011.

IMMD & LFMF XXXVII

  • I just heard somebody blasting their car stereo to the theme song from the Disney cartoon “DuckTales.” The random bit of silliness from some stranger in a car MMD!
  • Mum: So I am suppose to believe your living with you boyfriend and sleeping in the same bed, but not having sex?
    Me: Yes.
    Mum: OMG! You’re not married are you?
  • I was playing cards with a girl I like when I started joking about how I could magically produce an ace at will. I turned over the top card of the deck, expecting to make her giggle, only to see that I held the ace of clubs. We both freaked out and IMMD
  • Grandma: When you have kids if you have two daughters, drown one.
  • An acquaintance of mine had a court date for some custody issues regarding his ex-wife and their son. I was one of a group from our church who attended for moral support. While we were waiting for his case to be called, a couple was there with two small boys, both under 5 years old, and they were there to finalize their adoption. When the judge was finished with them, the whole court room applauded, and it totally MMD.
  • Dad: I may have missed the first day of hunting season, but I shot a RAM! (after accidentally shooting a hole in my uncle’s pickup truck)
  • After a hard day at work and school, I found a little time to go to the hardware store to pick up a needed item. When I asked a nice older gentleman, he directed me, then called over his radio so the person in the area would be ready for me. “Tim, I’ve got a nice young lady coming over. She needs a little screw.” The look on his face when I burst out laughing MMD.
  • Me:(talking about chemistry to my dad) So how many elements were there when you were in high school?
    Mom: Four. Water, earth, fire, and air.
  • So there I was sitting at a red light this morning when a little old man, probably in his 70’s was walking from his house with a bag of trash. He stopped about 5 or 6 feet from the can and tossed the bag in. He stood there for a second, then threw his fist in the air and yelled “Hell yeah!” and strutted back to the house… IMMD
  • (Talking about one of my dads friends.)
    Dad: He’s still looking for a new job.
    Me: He’s that really hot one, right?
    Mom: He can come work as our maid and wear a banana hammock!
  • My fire department responded to a very large apartment building fire last week. The only one hurt was a small dog, who was pulled outside not breathing. My big, tough, motorcycle riding Captain gave the dog mouth to mouth and saved him. When the dog woke up, my Captain started to cry. IMMD.
  • (In the midst of a fight)Mom: Now wait a minute there, Smith!

Dad: What’s this Smith crap?

Mom: (Pause) I can’t remember your first name!

Dad: Well, I see the last 20 years made an impression.

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