Archive for June 27, 2011


  • Me and my dad were driving (if you could call it that…) in heavy traffic, and some people would get in the other lane and zip to the end of the lane and jump back in, skipping everyone. Right as my dad started to complain, a big semi got in the lane to block everyone who tried to skip. IMMD.
  • If you’re a guy, don’t try to save time by peeing while brushing your teeth. The back and forth really throws off your aim. #LFMF
  • A few days ago I realized I had lost my ring while walking through the falling snow. It’s not a wedding ring or anything but it means a lot to me, and I was really upset to have lost it. The next night as I was walking home, I glance down and see, in a clear patch of grass poking through the snow, the moon shining brilliantly off my ring. Finding that dumb little piece of metal against all odds, and knowing someone was looking out for me, MMWeek.
  • If you’ve never drank coffee before, don’t let your first cup be espresso. And adding 5 sugar packets to the small cup won’t make a difference. #LFMF
  • I send letters to soldiers overseas but usually don’t get responses (they have more important things to do). One day I got an email from one of them. In my letter to him I’d babbled about not being able to find a good swimsuit. Apparently his group ended up discussing what kind of suit I should get. Knowing that a bunch of soldiers somewhere in the Middle East discussed something as ridiculous as my bathing suit MMD.
  • If you last name is Lecter, don’t call your baby daughter Annabel. Just don’t. #LFMcousin’sF
  • Today, I saw two little old ladies with canes walking across an icy parking lot. They linked arms and said “All for one and one for all!” before heading out over the ice. IMMD!
  • That thing about cat hair and blistex? If you work at a pet store, deal with chapped lips. #LFMF
  • A few weeks ago, my uncle was in a taxi on his way to work in London, during rush hour, when a tumour that had been growing on his liver, but that he had no idea existed burst and he passed out. The taxi driver used all the tricks of his trade to get my uncle to hospital as quickly as possible and, though he was in the ICU for a few weeks, he has made a full recovery. The Taxi Samaritan saved his life and IMMYear
  • When you are a 3rd grade teacher and ask the definition of the word “moon” to the class, you will get thirty 8 year old butts in your face. #LFMF
  • Today, after a long, hard struggle, my aunt is officially in remission from breast cancer. It absolutely MMD.
  • A few months ago, my grandma had a really bad stroke. The doctors said she would probably never speak again. One night I was sitting by her bed in the hospital and I started singing Edelweiss (from The Sound of Music) to her. Though she had been dozing off, she looked up, smiled at me, and started singing along. IMMD and my year.
  • When listening to your iPod through earbuds, do not attempt to fold a wool blanket. That little cord is a remarkably good conductor of static electricity, and the normally mild shocks are a bit more noticeable when they occur inside your head. #LFMF
  • My mom is diabetic and hasn’t been able to find her favorite flavor of sugar-free ice cream in years. I always look for it at the store, even though I’m four hours away. Today I found some and noticed the company’s website on the carton. Going to it I was able to locate the closest store to my mom that carried it – only 5 miles away! She sent me an excited text saying she’d found it and it was delicious. I Made her Day and her happiness ((and delicious ice cream) MMD.
  • If you set your phone to have the “cougar growl” noise, be sure to put it on silent if you go hiking. You may scare a few fellow hikers and yourself. #LFMF
  • I was on the way to my usual customer’s adress to deliver a pizza. When he opened the door, he threw confetti and gave me a $500 tip saying, “Scott! this is your 100th time delivering to me! Congratulations” IMMD
  • Never put a nail file in the same pocket as your touch screen cell phone. #LFMF