Archive for May 30, 2011


  • My friend was in a serious car crash and now has temporary steel pins in both his legs and his jaw. He needs to write everything down to communicate. when I asked him how he was feeling he wrote “great! because I am …” Then he beckoned for his guitar and proceeded to play Iron Man by Black Sabbath. His alternate way of communication MMW.
  • Don’t ever leave the access panel off the entrance to the attic crawl space. You will get a terrified squirrel in your room, and it won’t know how to get out. #LFMF
  • I work at a gas station, early morning shifts, and there is this lady who had the softest looking scarf who comes in that I always compliment. Well, today is my birthday and I had to work the early shift. When I went to clock in, a bag was waiting for me with a tag that read “A customer left this for you” Inside was the scarf I always admired and a matching pair of gloves! Her act of kindness since she couldn’t know it was my birthday really MMD
  • Never teach your father how to find pirated TV episodes on the computer. You will never get to use it again and your entire hard drive will be filled with every SciFi ever made. #LFMF
  • My cousin and his wife were told about four years that they would never be able to have children of their own, so they started the process of adoption. Nothing ever worked out, and they began getting depressed. Today, they found out that my cousin’s wife if having twins! It not only made their day (and probably life,) but it also made my entire family’s day!
  • After 32 years and 4 aborted attempts, tomorrow my dream becomes a reality. As a 43 yo, I finally get braces. To know that I won’t be ashamed of my smile anymore TOTALLY MML
  • Just because your cat is sleeping on its back doesn’t mean it wants its belly rubbed, and it WILL use those sharp teeth and claws to tell you about the sore on its belly. #LFMF
  • The power cord for my laptop recently broke and I needed to get in touch with HP to see how much getting a new one would cost. After several minutes of not getting anywhere with there automated system, I let out a frustrated scream and the automated system responded with “One moment while I transfer you to an attendant.” Finding that the automated system was programmed to respond to moments of frustration MMD.
  • Good idea: singing in the car.
    Bad idea: singing in the car after dental work.
    Sure it sounds hilarious but later you will painfully realize you were also biting your tongue. #LFMF
  • I was diagnosed with breast cancer 2 months ago. I’ve had surgery, and I start chemo next week. I just found out tonight a good friend is running in a breast cancer half marathon this weekend for me. That shes doing it for me and that could help other people in my situation MMD!!
  • Sticks and stones may break your bones, but your new iPhone breaks when you sit on it. #LFMF
  • During my high school years I suffered through a lot of abuse at home. One day it was particularly bad, and I went into the bathroom to cry, only to be surrounded a moment later by half the girls in my graduating class. They hugged me, told me everything would bet better, and it utterly MM high school years.
  • To you, checking your hair in a car window while in a hurry seems smart. To the car’s owner, it looks like you’re planning to rob it. #LFMF