Pagan Humor XXVII

A Short guide to comparative Religions

(Remember this is suppose to be funny, so please if you can’t giggle just a little at your own religious views, this joke may not be for you. “Viewer discretion if strongly advised”)

ATHEISM:                          No sh!t
BUDDHISM:                       “If sh!t happens, it really isn’t sh!t.”
CALVINISM:                      Sh!t happens because you don’t work hard enough.
CATHOLICISM:                 Sh!t happens because you are BAD.
CEREMONIAL MAGIC:     I Can make sh!t Happen.
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE:      Sh!t is only in your mind.
CONFUCIANISM:              Confucius say: “sh!t happens.”
EXISTENSIALISM:            What is this sh!t anyway?
FUNDAMENTALISM:        BIG sh!t will happen… SOON!
HARE KRISHNA:               Sh!t happens Rama Rama.
HEDONISM:                      There’s nothing like good sh!t happening.
HINDUISM:                       This sh!t happened before.
ISLAM:                              “If sh!t happens, it is the will of Allah.”
JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES:  Let us save you from the sh!t.
JUDAISM:                          Why does sh!t always happen to US?
MOONIES:                          Only happy sh!t really happens.
MORMONISM:                   If sh!t happens, you have two wives to blame it on.
NEW AGE:                         Visualize no sh!t happening.
PAGANISM:                       Sh!t is a part of the Goddess too!
PROTESTANTISM:            Sh!t won’t happen if I work harder.
QUAKERS:                        “No sh!t here, please.”
RASTAFARIANISM:          Let’s smoke some sh!t.
SCIENTOLOGY:                Feces Occurs.
STOICISM:                        Sh!t is good for me.
SEVENTH DAY ADVENTISTS:    No sh!t on Saturdays.
TAOISM:                           Sh!t happens.
TELEVANGELISM:           Send money or sh!t will happen to you!
WICCANISM:                   “Oh sh!t, I got that spell wrong again.”
ZEN:                                  What is the sound of sh!t happening?
ZOROASTRIANISM:         Sh!t happens half the time.

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