Holiday IMMD

  • My husband was fired 2 months ago and neither one of us has found a job. I was afraid we wouldn’t have a turkey for thanksgiving but I found someone giving one away on craigslist. I went and picked it up and after I got home I couldn’t help myself, I cried a little. Their kindness Made My Turkey Day!
  • I took my 9yr old son to see santa last night. I saw him whispering to santa and saw santa start to giggle. As my son and I were walking away I asked what he asked santa for he replied “a giant candy cane and a squirrel” of all the things a kid his age could ask for he asks for a squirrel. IMMD and I’m sure santa’s as well
  • My grandma and grandpa passed away three years ago, and today while going through old christmas cards to look for the new ones I had just bought, I found a card from them I hadnt opened from the year they passed away. It had $100 in it, and a long note about how proud they were of me for graduating highschool. It made me miss my grammy and pappy and IMMD.
  • A boring day at work was made light when a customer came in and serenaded the entire bank with our holiday jingle. When he finished, he said “I only know that because I drink heavily.” IMMD
  • German mail-order company “Otto” had a “model contest” going on on their facebook page. Suprisingly, the winner was “Brigitte”, a guy dressed up in cheesy women’s clothes and a blonde wig. The company took it with humour, they invited him to the promised photo shoot. Today they published the first image of “Brigitte” as Mrs. Santa bringing christmas gifts, including the blonde wig. IMMD!
  • I’ve been worried about Christmas coming up soon, and not being able to buy gifts for my family because of being unemployed. While I was moving things around in my room, I found the one hundred dollar bill that I put back in June for Christmas. I forgot all about it hiding it in save keeping. IMMD
  • I had taken out the christmas presents from the closet so I could figure out who I still needed to buy for, when my cat started digging through the pile. She found her christmas present, dragged it out and took off with it. Apparently I’m good at picking out presents and IMMD.
  • This will be my first Christmas away from home, and I have decided not to spend any money on a tree or decorations. My neighbor stopped by yesterday to tell me he cut down his own tree and brought it home, but his wife decided it wasn’t big enough and they ended up buying one instead. So, he gave me the tree and even offered to donate some ornaments for it! Totally MMChristmas!!
  • I work in a Supermarket and last night an elderly gentleman came through the register and didn’t quite have enough to pay for all of his shopping. He was deciding what to put back when the lady behind him said “Don’t worry about it, add it to my bill – Merry early Christmas”. IMMD and his.
  • Every year, my family hires a Santa to stop at our Christmas Eve party to give presents to the kids. My 6 year old niece was less than impressed though, when Santa asked what she wanted for Christmas, she said “I’ve told you twice already, don’t you check your email?” IMMD
  • In English class we finished reading ‘A Christmas Carol’ and were supposed to create a little joke about how mean Scrooge was. My friend said ‘Scrooge is so mean, for Christmas he got tiny Tim a 3 legged dog. IMMD
  • My mom sent me a whole box of kazoos in the mail, along with a book of “Zombie Christmas carols”! IMMD.
  • I got engaged about six months ago to my love of 6.5 years. We thought we’d have to postpone the wedding until much, much later, because all our money is tied up in buying a house. Yesterday, my grandmother called me and said she wanted to let me know that my Christmas present was going to be about 5 months late, and that I’d get it in May: she’s paying for the whole wedding. It made my whole year.
  • My mom is a teacher. My mom told her class that Santa hadn’t brought her anything for Chirstmas last year. A 5 year-old girl raised her hand and said “I know why, You said Mudda Fucker” she want on to explain, “My dad told my brother that if he said Mudda Fucker again Santa wasn’t bring him anything for Christmas.”
  • I took my three year old niece to see Santa Clause at the mall, she didn’t seem that impressed and as we walked off announced “that wasn’t the real Father Christmas, just a man dressed up as him” when I asked how she knew she said loudly “his beard was dodgy”. IMMD
  • My boss was lifting our Christmas tree up so I could slip the stand in underneath. He said “Guide me in…” I said “It doesn’t fit!” We laughed so hard we dropped the tree. IMMD.
  • I asked my brother for a percussion shaker for Christmas. I just discovered a gift under the tree labeled “DO NOT SHAKE.” IMMD.
  • As we were exchanging gifts on Christmas day, my sister suddenly stood up, cheered and yelled “I got a snuggie that you wear backwards!” It was a bath robe. IMMD.
  • For Christmas my parents got me the Zombie Survival Guide. They also gave me a crowbar, a kitchen knife, and A pass for a shooting range. When I asked why they responded with “There’s a class 1 outbreak in Japan.” IMMD

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