IMMD & LFMF XIII

  • When asked if she wanted whipped cream on her drink, a BBW replied, “do you think i got this body without whipped cream?!” IMMD
  • When travelling long distances in a C130 Hercules aircraft and you are seated next to a gorgeous guy from your unit, “accidentally” falling asleep with your head on his shoulder is cute, however, drooling on his shoulder is not. #LFMF
  • After years of being out of shape and having medical problems, I have started walking and jogging. This morning, I ran a solid mile for the first time in my life at the age of 36. IMMD
  • When you decide to shave your big beard off after getting home late, be sure to tell your sleeping girlfriend. Otherwise, you might wake up to blood curdling screams and a gun in your face. #LFMF
  • Me: These recalls on all these different baby products are ridiculous.
    Dad: You’re right, I can trace these problems down to one problem, the baby!
  • Today, my bicycle brake unexpectedly broke and I almost fell off my bike. An elderly man immediately approached, took a Swiss army knife and a screw out of his coat pocket and repaired my bicycle. IMMD!
  • Today a 1st grader at the school where I teach came running up to tell me that she only has 3 treatments left before her leukaemia is officially in remission. We shared a giant hug and it totally MMD.
  • Let The Bodies Hit The Floor” is not an appropriate ringtone when one works in a nursing home. #LFMF

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