Archive for September 14, 2010

Pagan Humor XVI

Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary Part 2

Author Prefers to remain anonymous

Day 774—I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half wit. The bird on-the-other-hand has got to be an informant he speaks with them on a regular basis. I am certain he is reporting on my every move. Due to his placement in a metal room his safety is assured. But, I can watch and I can wait. It is only a matter of time.

Day 779—Today I managed to escape, if but briefly. A small captor by the name of cousin Jill was inattentive in her door opening duties and I was able to slip by her unseen. Unfortunately the dog saw me as I dashed for the wooded area behind the house and cousin Jill was able to corner me. I promptly repaid her for my recapture by urinating in her left shoe.

Day 811—After my near escape weeks ago, I have been feeling less then myself and have been sleeping less then usual. With only 15 hours of sleep a day, I am exhausted. If sleep does not come more easily in the
next few days I feel I may not last passed the week’s end.

Day 814—I had a bit of fun today. The dog will need therapy to fully
recover. My captors were not amused and have removed my food dish from
its usual spot. I will wait until the retire this evening and find where
they have put it.

Day 815—Last evening in my searching for my food dishes new location, I knocked over what my female captor refereed to “Great Aunt Tessie’s Urn” it must have been her favourite toy because she was very upset that I thought its contents were a litter box.